Atm’hot’tya: Mafi naslelo opradh (No more suicides please)

No more suicides please

Atm’hot’tya: Mafi naslelo opradh!

                                                                    - Necio D’Souza, Raia -Goa

Atm’hot’tya vortovta jivit ani mornna modlo khell. Zantun jivit harovta ani mornnacher soitanacho xik’ko poddtta. Hea korezmachea kallant tori jivit ani mornna vixim kholayen niyall zavpak zay. Kristanvank ho ek moladik soeg. Dusrea dhormanim osli sondi mellpachi ghoddi zobor-xi disona. Jivit-moronn-punorjivit, hem dhoronn amkam kristanvank mellop zaun asa ek vhodd bhagya. Hacheruch amchem sompurnn sintid thir aspak zay. Punn kotta, kaim zannank hem dhoronn polkem dista. Xekim kaim zann aplench jivit apkhoxen vibaddttat.

Dor disa Atm’hot’tyeche prokar vaddotuch asat. Zanttim, nenttim, tornnattim ani bhurgim purian ho noxtto rosto apnnaytat. Fulte kolle matiyent rigtat tem polleun konnacheay kallzar bhalo bosunk zata. Aplea hatanim vaddoilelim bhurgim Atm’hot’tya kortat tem khoimcho avoy-bapuy svikarunk xokta? Tornni bhurgim Atm’hot’tya korpachem mukhel karann dison ailam tem mhollear mogant mellpi ghat. Mogant konnak dhoko melltta tedna, to vo tem jiv divpache kornnek veng marta. Thoddeank porikxek favo title gunn mellunk na vo nokri mellonk na; oslim anik kitlinxinch karnnam sampoddttat.

Him tornnatim visortat ki aplea mornna uprant somazant kitem ghoddchem asta tem. Ghorcheank lojechi har mellchi asa; hacher matuy lokx asona. Eka cheddeak vo eka cheddvak lagon jiv hogddavop, hem kortub avoy-bapayk ordim melelim korun soddttat mhonn niyall korpak fursot asona. Jiv rakhlear sonvsarant novre vo vhoklo kitlei mellop xokya asa. Kaim pavttim mogan aslelim zoddpim sangatan Atm’hot’tya kortat. Aplea ekvottak ghorcheanchi addkoll asot zalear Atm’hot’tya! Hem tor vhoddlem murkhponn.

Tornnatteam xivay anikuy kitlimxinch monxam  Atm’hot’tya kortolim mellttat. Nennar monxam poros xikxit monxancho ankddo chodd melltta. Voiz, vokil, Inziner, nursi, xikxika ani her xiknnaranim Atm’hot’tya kel’li asa. IIT ani IAS podveo ghetleleanim purian hem kortub adarlam. Raza ani Rannianim purian atmghat korun jiv sompoila. Jezuchea 12 xisantlo eklo xis Judasa-an legit Atmohotya kelea. Itlea sogott monxancho aspav zala mhonn Atm’hot’tya, ek vaitt kornni nhoy koxi dovrop sobavik asa. Suxikxit monxanim oslem pavl marlem zalear sonvsar koso sudronk pavot? Thoddeank dista ki Atm’hot’tya korop mhonnge ek dhaddxi kortub. Kaim zannak Olympic medal mellovpa itlem vhortem dista. Oslem chintop ballgupi monxam Deva pasun kitlinxich pois asat mhonn apxinch kollit kortat. Oslea monxanchi ixttagot ballgipi sado monisui rokddoch Atm’hot’tyecho bagidar zata; oxem obheasantlean ugddapem zalam. Zoxi ki kuskea ambeam modem dovorlelea borea ambeachi goth zata.

Hea chalu kallar amchea Bharot desak Atm’hot’tya korpi ghoddnneanim samkoch haloila. Sonsodent borich cheorchea zata.  Amche xetkar bhav Atm’hot’tya korit asat. Addvollea pavsan pikavollik luskonn haddlam tem polleun te niraxi zaleat. Chintpachi xokti unnem poddlelean kaim xetkar jiv ditat. Osleamche khub churchure distat. Tanchea ghorcheank buzvonn mellunk amchem magnnem.

Atm’hot’tya keli mhonn proxnn suttavo zata hoy? Kedinch na. Portench zalear ti somosya dupett zata. Ghorcheancher odhik bhar poddtta. Odhik oddchonneank fuddo korcho poddtta. Kaim pavtti ak’khem kuttumb jiv sompoita. Kedem pixeponn hem! Hoi hea pixeponna itlem dusrem pixeponn na. Dusreacho jiv kaddop guneanv dista, svotacho jiv kaddunk mat guneanv disona; mhonnttoch hem ek vhodd pixeponn. Zoso dusreacho jiv kaddunk mhaka odhikar na, tosoch mhozoi jiv kaddunk odhikar na. Hem sot manun ghena tancho xevott churchureancho zatoloch.

Mhaka khoxi zali mhonn hanv zolmank ailom/ailem vo avoy-bapaiche khoxen zolmolom/zolmolem; hem sompurnn sot nhoy. Hanv Devak zay mhonn zolm ghetla, hech tem sompurnn sot. Sakramentan bandlele ostorek tum zolmola vo ankvarek  zolmola hachi nond Deva lagim astach. Chodd mhotvachem tem hem ki tuvem Devachi khoxi mhonn zolm ghetla. Devache hukume xivay kosleach jivachi nirmiti zaina. Mhonttoch dor eklim ami Devachi rochnna. Dev amchea jivacho dhoni. To jiv borea margan cholovop amchem kortvya. Ho jiv hogddavpacho odhikar amkam na. Amche modle monis jiv hogddaitat tedna te Devacher add vetat. Ek vhodd guneanv to, sadem patok nhoy. Lhan vo vhodd patkak bhogsonnem mellpacheo sondi uplobd asat. Punn Atm’hot’tyachea guneanvak kednach mafi na. He toren hogddail’lea atmeank Dev lagim ghena. Hannim soroll norkant vochpa bogor dusro poryay na.

Sonvsarant ami jinsanvar monxam polletat. Tankam khub kitem unnem asa tem dekhtanv. Thoddeank ghor-asro na, thoddeank jevunk-khaunk na, thoddeank nhesunk-pangrunk na, adi. Thoddim monxam pangllim, kurddim, bherim, monim, pixim asat. Tim jiyetat ani somadhanim jivit jiyetat. Apnnam lagim ghoddtta toslo vavr kortat ani aplo dispotto zoddttat. Zanche lagim samkench ghoddona tim bhik magun jivit sartat. Her samanya monxam koddlean okman tim sonstat punn Atm’hot’tya korpachea kortubak pallo dinat. Kitlim subhagi him monxam. Devachi kitleo sobit rochnna heo! Aple koxtt ani vollvolle Devak tim orpitat ani khuxak jiyetat. Itlench nhoy dor disak dor khinnak tim Devak visvaxim ravtat, Devak argam ditat. Hea oslea monxam vorvim Devak Mhoima melltta. Oslea monxanchea hajirponnant aslelim heruy monxam jivitacho khoro orth somzunk pavtat. Hancheai jivitantlean subham follam piktat. Vortem udaronn zaun asa Bhoktivont Madr Thereza.

Soglle sande sarke aslelinch monxam Atm’hot’tya kortat, hem ek niv’voll sot. Jivitant soglle torechem sukh mellttoch monis Devak visorta. Jem kitem yeox melloilam tachem xrey fokot apnnakuch gheta ani Devak nakarta. Oslea monxak soitan lagincho ixtt zata. Lhanxe chukik lagon niraxiponn bhitor sorta tedna, devcharache hukumek to bolli poddtta. “Tuka hea upodreantlean suttka zay zalear, Atm’hot’tya kor”- oxi budh to gheta. Magir aiz na faleam oxem ghoddttach.

Monis Atm’hot’tya kiteak korta? Ho ek sonxodanacho vixoy. Mhojea hisban jivitacho orth somzunk chukta dekhun Atm’hot’tya ghoddonk pavta. Ami dor eklean jivitacho orth kholayen somzunk zay. Khorem mhollear jinnetlea poileach disa thavn survat zavpak zay. Hi zababdari ballkachea avoy-bapayk poili lagu zata. Bhurgem kuddi-monan ghott-mutt zait veta toxem-toxem taka jivitacho orth pottovn divpak zay. Lhan pirayeruch somzonnim mellop chodd mhotvachem asa. Lagxil’lea monxam koddsun khori xikvonn mellona tedna bhurgem porkea koddlean fottkiri xikvonn apnnaita. Jem lhan pirayer monant rigta tem mhatarponnar legit sugur urta. Atm’hot’tya korop vaitt kortub mhonn pottovn dilear, hem bhurgem jivitbhor Atm’hot’tyek koxench pallo dinvchem na.

Mhunnttoch Atm’hot’tya zavn asa ek mafi naslelo opradh. To ami nivarpak zay. Amchea bhonvtonnim asleleanchi rakhonn korpak ami vavrunk zay. Dusreacheo bhavna ani dukhi somzupacho ami husko ballgunk zai. Osoktank nitt rosto dakhovpak toyar asunk zay. Xevttak vachpeanim BIBLE-antlea hea mozkuracher niyall korcho mhonn vinonti kortam. “Konnakuch tumkam fosounk dium nakat………….Devachim bhurgim ani devcharachim bhurgim hacheruch vollkhunk yetat………” – (1 Juanv 3; 7-10).

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Published in JIVIT- April'2015 Issue